Who's Who?
The role of the chief bridesmaid is usually filled by a sister or closest friend and of all your attendants, she'll be trusted with the most responsibility. She'll also be the one in charge of planning the showers and bachelorette party as well as be your right hand when picking out a dress, doing hair trials, etc. (LY note: Regard all the other bridesmaids in matters that they can assist with. Many times, bridesmaids feel left out when the MOH is singled out with everything and may feel resentful close to the wedding if they're too out of the loop.)
Size Matters
The general rule of thumb is the bigger the wedding, the more bridesmaids, so it's best to think about this before you ask too many of your friends or family members to fill these roles. Another factor that will affect how many bridesmaids you have is your budget, as you'll be expected to pay for all their accessories, flowers and according to all customs other than American, their dress. (LY note: Please don't make your friends buy a $300.00 plus dress that they'll never be able to wear again. Remember, they are your friends! Be nice!)
Duty Calls
It's the maid of honor's job to be your main source of support in the run up to the wedding. This could mean sitting up all night making favors or talking you down when the nerves kick in, but one duty almost always falls on her shoulders is the parties. Send her a list of who you'd like to invite, tell her your ideas and cross your fingers that she doesn't ignore them in favor of a male stripper!
On The Day
Even if you're the most independent woman in the world, you'll be glad of your bridesmaids' help on the morning of the wedding. You're bound to be full of butterflies so it's their job to make sure you eat breakfast and are done up properly in your dress. It's a good idea to give them an emergency kit with a mirror, painkillers, tissues, hairspray, lipstick and breath mints. Also give someone all the vendor contact information and your cell phone. That way, if the caterer's van breaks down, she can handle the call and keep the stress off of you. (LY note: This is a great reason to hire a Day of Coordinator! If you can't afford for assistance during the planning process (or are a really hands on bride) a "DOC" is a great present to yourself. They handle all the vendors, make sure everything is set-up and keep the stress off of the wedding party and the family. Do you really want your parents to pay for everything and work that day too?)
Party Time!
Your maids don't have to be glued to your side all night, but if there are specific jobs you want them to take responsibility for, such as helping you with your dress in the bathroom, you should let them know in advance. And once their duties are done, theyr'e free to do what they do best - party! After all, if they're having fun on the dance floor, it's more likely your other guests will join in too.
And Finally...
This may sound obvious but in the run up to your wedding, it's very easy to be come a little (dare we say it?) self-involved. It's important to acknowledge the help of your nearest and dearests, so as well as giving each of your bridesmaids a gift on the day as a gesture of your appreciation, remember to thank them face to face. After all, you want them to still be friends after the wedding too! (LY note: Don't forget the little people. Thank everyone that made your day happen. This doesn't have to come that day, but make sure that the folks who made your dream a reality know how wonderful it was. Your parents are having a really emotional day, so taking the time to pull them aside and share one-on-one how happy you are will be better than any gift.)
And a Word for the "Maids" from Lucky You
Girls, put the green eyed monster away! You're there to support your close friend and she'll need it! She asked you to stand up for her for a reason, so as your day will (or may have already) come to marry the man of your dreams, chances are she is there with a smile on her face. So let her enjoy the time leading up to the wedding as much as she does the big day and put aside your personal trials and tribulations, whatever they may be, and support your girl!
